We were running late for Mass. Again. Thankfully our parish is one of many young families, many large families, and many more family friendly parishioners. Thankfully it's not TOO painful when we have to trudge up to the only pew with enough room for us. Of course it's right up front. Front and center.
I'd love to have the family ready, dressed nicely for 8am Mass and pray the rosary on the way. Wouldn't that be nice? That'd be lovely, I think. Instead, we're lucky if we can get to the 10:30 Mass on time.
So, anyway, we get settled down and Margaux poops. Really, really loud. Everyone heard it. They laughed politely. Thankfully. I was about to get up and take Margaux to the bathroom to change her when the sweet woman sitting behind us taps me on the shoulder and points to Margaux's back saying, "I think it leaked through."
I look down and, yep, there's major poopage. Everywhere.
Did I pack an extra outfit in the diaper bag on my way out the door? Of course I didn't. Sigh.
I take her to the nursery and get her cleaned up the best I can. I was able to manage getting her clothes cleaned up enough and we finally make it back up to the pew as the homily is ending.
I took a deep breath and thought to myself, well, at least I'll be here for the Consecration and Eucharist, right?
Just as I'm settling into something of a prayerful frame of mind, I feel another tap on my shoulder. This time it's my dear husband Zac and he's pointing at my chest. I look down and....my shirt is soaking wet. It's a combination of spit up and milk. Breast milk. Did I put a nursing pad in my shirt on the way out the door? Of course I didn't. Sigh. So I go to the bathroom, get myself cleaned up and get back to the pew, resolving to just wear my jacket for whatever is left of Mass.
I wanted to get grumpy. I wanted to get frustrated. I wanted to get angry. I wanted to think, Lord, I need Mass. I need the Word. I need the Eucharist. Why is everything going wrong today? I can't catch two minutes of uninterrupted time to celebrate the mass with my family!?
I felt myself getting there...to that point of the grumpy overwhelmed resentful mother. I was THIS close. And then I felt a quiet peacefulness coming over me. The Lord knows me and he knows what I need. During that Mass, I was exactly where I should have been. Serving my children, being a mother, fulfilling the Lord's plan and will for my life and even for those specific MINUTES in my day. There are so many opportunities in a mother's life for what SHE wants to be doing to be interrupted by the needs of our families. Our imperfect souls might jump to a state of resentfulness. After all, it's not like I was trying to go for a spa treatment...I just wanted to celebrate the Mass with my family.
It is in those times when I absolutely must trust the Lord or else I'll so easily turn to resentment and frustration. Trust that serving my family and my children is exactly what I should be doing, and in those actions and feelings of selfless love and giving, the Lord will fill me and bless my actions.
You are loved by an Awesome God~